Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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