Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
