Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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