It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
