She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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