Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
