he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
