if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
