the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
