I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
