how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I will pee on everything he values.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
