Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
