you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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