I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
