Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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