hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
