Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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