Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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