my mouth tastes like poor choices
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
