it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
