You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
