it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
