I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
