i wish starbucks made bloody marys
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So much Jack, so little girl.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
