singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
