I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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