thus making me awesome and them whores
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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