i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
