I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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