Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
