can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
