The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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