What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
