Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
sex in a hospital.. check
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
