Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize