The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
