I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
PANTIES FOUND
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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