You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize