While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
