I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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