I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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