i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
