You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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