Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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