Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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