Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
