I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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