I think my fart just growled at me.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
