Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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