either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
