My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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