Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
