; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
