I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
