found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
