But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
