I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
