he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
