Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
