it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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