So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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