ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
