he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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