im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
