So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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