Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
where am i from again
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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