I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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