How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
