I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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