your parents love me but you hate me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
