Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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