You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
