i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize