they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
