i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You took a bar mat shot.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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