Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
