He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
