Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Randomize
