gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
