My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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