Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
