ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
