i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
