Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
