She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
