And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
